You Said
by AuroraExecution
Summary: A series of 100-word drabbles on the strange, bittersweet, painful relationship between Aya and Yohji. Some angst, some humor. Chapter 51: "I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life."
1. You Said

**Disclaimer:** Neither Aya nor Yohji are mine. Luckily. Otherwise they would be much much more angsty than usual.

**Notes:** I'm very proud of these. Some will be humor, some will be angst. All will be 100 words, and on my obsession pairing, Aya/Yohji. Please support!!

Special thanks to SkyRat for encouraging me to put these up, and letting me test drive most of these on her.

The first one is an Aya POV.

* * *

You Said

I hate you, because you promised.

'_Forever', you said, and I didn't want to believe you, but I did_.

I hate you because you promised, and then you broke your promise.

'_I'll always', you said, but you didn't have always. _

I hate you because I broke your promise for you.

'_I'm here', you said, and then I let you go. _

I hate you because there was nothing else I could do.

'_I love you', you said, and I wanted you to smile. _

But, most of all, I hate you because…

'_I love you', you said. _

'_I love you…'_

…I replied.


	2. Rain

**Notes:** A very very angsty one. I hate cheesy romantic movies involving cliche rain scenes. You have to do it really WELL for me to like it. And I feel like...this is something Yohji would say, it's teasing and cute and somehow really sweet at the same time, which is how I see Yohji's personality. Thanks to kichikoneko for her lovely review, and to all of you who are reading. I hope I manage to convey a little bit of the emotion that I can imagine between these two wonderful characters.

* * *

Rain

_"If one day you make a dramatic love confession to me, don't do it in the rain," Yohji teased one drizzly afternoon as they watched a cheesy movie. "You'll catch something." _

_"Hn," Aya replied. After a silence, Yohji began again, his voice softer. _

_"And, Aya?" _

_"Yes?" _

_"When you leave, promise you'll pick a sunny day. The rain will just make you sad." _

Except he never got a choice. It was pouring as Aya departed the hospital, with no sword and no Yohji, just a broken promise and a white cross around his neck and tears he didn't remember he had.


	3. Tears and Lies

**Notes:** Not quite as pleased with this one in comparison to the last two, but the scene wouldn't leave my head until I wrote it down. And, also, the next chapter involves a drabble that is NOT depressing, but actually a bit fluffy through all the angst, so please look forward to that. Thanks to met for being so sweet and leaving me such a thoughtful review, and to anyone else who is following. Oh, and, yes, Aya is crying. Probably because of something to do with his sister.

* * *

Tears and Lies

Aya was doing something he hadn't done for a long time, and now he couldn't stop.

He huddled in a ball in Yohji's arms, but no matter how Aya twisted his face away, Yohji kept holding on.

And Aya was falling. He was falling out of himself, falling apart, falling down and down and down and down…

…and into Yohji's embrace. Yohji held him together, refused to let him break.

"Stay," Aya ordered, commanded, _begged_.

"I always will."

Aya held on tighter.

"I _promise_, Aya."

Later, Aya looked back and wondered if they could have guessed that Yohji was lying.


	4. He Forgot To Let Go

**Notes:** I like this one, if only because it is the first fluffy drabble I ever wrote for them. I guess...I'm pleased with the titular line, it gives me a nice feeling.

Thanks to layla-xd for such an in-depth review. Please leave me some encouragement, everyone! I tend to update if I get encouragement.

Though...I've written so many of these that I'm updating kind of fast anyway right now. ^^;

* * *

He Forgot To Let Go

"Hold on to me and pretend you care, and when I'm asleep you can leave and forget everything."

Yohji's eyes were uncharacteristically clear, and slightly pleading, something Aya had never seen before.

Aya said nothing, but reached out to embrace Yohji, because Yohji wasn't asking for anything difficult, and was even telling him not to involve real emotions. It should have been simple.

He did what Yohji asked. He held on tightly, watched as Yohji smiled, pretended and pretended until Yohji relaxed in his arms and slowly fell asleep.

And that was when Aya erred.

He forgot to let go.


	5. They're Not

**Notes:** Back to the depressing ones. Well, at least the next...two are both fluffy.

This is Aya POV again--Yohji's my favorite character, but somehow Aya gets written a lot more. I'm not sure why. This drabble takes place as Aya is leaving Weiss for what he thinks is the last time, probably in the middle of Kapitel (1st season, at the end of the Takatori arc). It could also work for their last breakup before Gluhen, but I think it feels more like the end of the Takatori arc.

Thanks to kichikoneko and layla for their reviews, and please let me know what you think!

* * *

They're Not

I walk away slowly, thinking this scene seems all too similar to a trite romantic tragedy, but with no choice except to keep going.

It's the end of Weiss, the end of us.

He doesn't stop me anymore.

He tried. He always tried. He tried to make it normal in a world that wasn't. He tried to pretend I was—_we were_—right together.

The problem is that we weren't.

And after trying and trying and trying, he finally let me have my way.

I told him not to stop me.

And those, in my eyes…they're not tears.

They're not.


	6. Diamonds Are Forever

**Notes:** I decided to write a Valentine's Day special. It's a bit late for Valentine's Day, but, oh well.

I guess I just got a little sick of seeing the cheesy valentine's day fics posted in the past, and on various communities, usually involving very cliche valentine's rituals and lots of mushy OOC making out. This is the sweetest I imagine for these two.

Thanks to kichikoneko for her review, and thanks to everyone who's reading. Also, thanks to patsch for being so enthusiastic about my work and for just being cool in general. Reviews would be very appreciated!

* * *

Diamonds Are Forever

_Quality Diamonds for Your Sweetheart_, claimed the advertisement. Yohji sighed. Aya would murder him if he came home with a girly necklace. Especially one with something "personal" engraved on it.

Chocolate was popular, but, again, there would be death, of the Aya-induced variety, if Yohji gave him chocolate like some high-strung schoolgirl.

And Yohji wasn't even going to _touch_ the idea of flowers. Just…no. He liked all his body parts.

--

When Aya woke, he found a note on his nightstand.

_Aya, _

_Good morning, I love you. _

_Yohji_

Beside the note was a bottle of aspirin tied with a pink bow.

* * *

A/N: So, for those of you who are completely confused. Aya and Yohji work in a flower shop. Aya wakes up and hates his life a lot because flower shop + hormonal girls + valentine's = horror. Therefore, aspirin = god. Does that make any sense? If you're still confused, feel free to ask.


	7. Strings

**Notes:** So, a fluff drabble! I guess it's a little LESS exciting than it was supposed to be, since the V-day drabble was kind of fluffy. But, anyway, I like it, especially since it's one of the few I managed to do in Yohji POV.

Thanks to AmYa, SkyRat, and kichikoneko for reviews, and thanks to everyone who's reading. And, again, thank you to patsch for being such a sweet friend, and for reading whatever I force-feed her.

Reviews would be very appreciated!

* * *

Strings

I live by strings.

The one from my watch, that protects me.

The one on my finger, that connects me.

The one in my heart, that carries me.

The deadly string I kill with, the invisible string that brought him, and…and…

Every moment beside him. Every time he lowers his head to hide a smile. Every thing I've ever done for him.

He never did say anything, but neither did I. It's not something we talk about, anyway.

But…it was there, that "love" that isn't really flowers and poems.

I know, because it was the string I held on to.


	8. Definition

**Notes:** This is...sort of dark fluff. It's Aya POV, again. And...I don't know, I really like it, even if I feel like it's something Aya wouldn't necessarily SAY. But, he might just think it in the middle of some dark, pensive night.

Thanks to kichi for continuing to review, and to fire_mystic for being so encouraging here and on LJ. (Yes, I got an LJ. You can go take a look, but it'll pretty much just include the stuff that's already posted on this site.)

Reviews would be very appreciated!

* * *

Definition

They say Love is roses and starry nights and romantic kisses beside a twilit ocean. They say it's tenderness, and embraces, and going out.

But that's wrong, don't you know?

Love is when he hits you and tells you you're being a fool to give up, even in such a pointless, sin-stained life.

Love is letting him in when he comes home drunk after you've fought, and carrying him in to sleep it off.

Love is when you've never said a single kind thing in his direction, but he forgives you after you yell at him again.

I would know.


	9. If You Ever

**Notes:** Ooooh, another Yohji POV. Sadly, this one is still depressing. Anyway. At least we get to cut out the depressing in half with the White Day Special which will bisect the four depressing drabbles...

Thanks, as usual, to kichi for her continuous support and reviews, and also to Caitlebug, for reviewing this and "Maybe Next Time".

Caitlebug: You are correct--the promise-breaking action is the memory loss at the end of Gluhen.

I think I imagined this one chronologically after Weiss breaks up before Gluhen, again. A lot of my drabbles are set in this time, I think because I like the angst from them being apart, but it's nicer than post-Gluhen because I can still write Yohji.

Oh, also. I want to add that the title is taken from a song by Sinead O'Connor. The rest of the song lyrics are...well...suitably Aya/Yohji-ish, but not really in the vein of this drabble.

Anyway, enjoy. Review if you are so inclined. Thanks.

* * *

If You Ever

There are certain things that regret does to a person.

We didn't talk about a lot of things, and back then it was fine, because we said we didn't need it. But nights and nights of thinking later, suddenly I wish I'd let myself be a fool and talk about those things.

Obviously, it's too late now.

But, if we ever meet again, I'll tell you. I won't ask you to reply, but I'll say it.

'Cause, you know, sometimes I wonder. Maybe it _wasn't_ enough back then.

If you ever, somehow, could hear me, I'd say every foolish word.


	10. One More Time

**Notes:** Surprisingly...yet another Yohji POV. Not so surprisingly...yet another angst drabble. Sorry. So, the new drabble...I think the setting is again pre-Gluhen, post-OVA breakup. Sorry my notes are so boring...enjoy.

Also! Please look out for the White Day Special on the 14th!! It's a continuation of sorts for the Valentine's Day Special.

Thanks to kichi and patsch for their reviews!!

Please leave one if you like it.

* * *

One More Time

All I can think anymore is that I'd like one more. One more chance. One more try. One more time.

Something aches inside, and I don't understand.

How can I miss someone who's no longer mine to miss?

But all I want is to go to a place that's warm and sunny and green, where there are no tears or blood or pain. And I want to find you there, and have you hold me, just once, as I fall asleep, and I want to never wake up again.

I want you to be mine to miss, one more time.


	11. Gratitude

**Notes:** This is a continuation of the Valentine's Day Special. In Japan, V-day is when girls give boys stuff, and white day is when boys give girls stuff back. I don't actually think of Yohji as being the girl, but it was a good excuse to have another little fluff piece.

Thanks to kichi and xChristabelx for their reviews!!

Please let me know what you think!

* * *

Gratitude

It wasn't like he _had_ to give Yohji anything. It was _just_ White Day. Yohji had _just_ left aspirin.

But…it _wasn't_ 'just aspirin'. It was concern. It was an understanding of what Aya really needed. It was Yohji's way of caring.

And it wasn't just the present. It was everything else that Yohji did, every day, to try to make Aya happy.

So Aya felt like he should do _something_ in return.

At least no one had to _know_.

--

Yohji really, really needed a drink after working White Day.

He was happy to find a bottle under his bed.


	12. What I Want to Say

**Notes:** This update is for patsch, in some attempt to make her feel better...or...you know...angstier, since this really isn't a very fluffy update.

Thanks to glinwulf, xChristabelx, and kichi (as always) for their reviews.

WARNING: THE F-WORD IS USED IN THIS DRABBLE. If for some reason you have come into a T-rated fic and can't handle swearing, this is your warning.

Aya point of view, because I can't seem to write anything else.

* * *

What I Want to Say

Sometimes I know what I want to say to you if I had the chance. Other times it seems to slip through the chinks of my mind.

I don't want to remember you anymore. Not when you don't have to remember me.

I don't want to feel like you're missing.

You weren't supposed to break through the wall I put up. You promised you wouldn't leave, even though I told you we couldn't make promises.

Fuck you.

You lied, even if you didn't mean to.

Your promises didn't mean anything in the end.

And, God help me…I love you.


	13. The Name

**Notes:** And...I'm back to regularly updating every 5-6 days or so.

Thanks to layla-xd, VitroBlue, xChristabelx, and kichi for their reviews. I also want to take a moment to thank Kuroi Tamashi and kichi for favoriting this fic, and Kuroi Tamashi and patsch for putting it on their alert lists. I really do appreciate the kind words and/or support you all have given.

Yohji POV, finally! I kind of like the pensive feel to this drabble, especially the tint of melancholy that I feel shows through. This is post-Gluhen, and there are mentions of Side B. For those of you who would like a quick background: Yohji has amnesia, is now named Itou Ryou, and married his nurse. Ken shows up at his house one day, and Yohji gives him Aya's katana that Yohji borrowed at the end of Gluhen. When I thought of this, I could just imagine Yohji, unable to remember who he is, but finding just a snatch of his past, and holding on to that.

This drabble was inspired by the song "The Name" by Tony Leung (go listen!), in which the singer says he's "forgotten how to forget" his lover's name and wonders if his own name has already disappeared from the lover's heart.

* * *

The Name

All I can remember is _Aya_, and that the katana is important, because it's his.

Because _Aya_ is important.

Sometimes I wonder if he's forgotten my name. If he wonders whether I've forgotten his name.

I've forgotten how to forget it.

I thought I was happy, but now all I do is try to remember.

Why does _Aya_ have a girl's name? Who was the "friend" who knew where to deliver the katana? Why was I sad to see him take the katana away?

I don't know.

I don't know anything.

All I know anymore is _Aya_.

_Aya. _

_Aya. _

_Aya. _


	14. Haves and HaveNots

**Notes:** Thanks to Kuroi Tamashi for her beautiful words, kichi for her interest in the music, and patsch for being sweet.

Here is a...sort-of fluffy piece. I guess it's more of my specialty of dark fluff. SkyRat commented that this one is a bit abrupt, but the 100 words thing is REALLY limiting, and I didn't want to start it over from scratch. So...it remained in the kind-of abrupt form.

I imagine this one happening sometime during Kapitel or so, probably after Aya starts up his angsting again, most likely after a mission. I like Ken in this. Please let me know what you think!

* * *

Haves and Have-Nots

"You think your life is crap, Aya, well, what about the rest of us?" Ken demanded, finally exploding.

"What do I have that's worth anything?" replied Aya coldly.

"What do you _have_?" snapped Ken, "Unlike Omi, _you_ have a family that loved you! Unlike me, you have _someone_ outside of Weiss! And unlike Yohji…" Ken trailed off.

Aya raised an eyebrow.

"Unlike Yohji, you've got a reason to keep going," finished Ken harshly as he left.

Aya's eyes widened. A few minutes later, he was upstairs, pulling Yohji firmly into his arms and whispering fiercely, "Now you have a reason."


	15. Truffles

**Notes:** Thanks to kichi for her kind review (of chapter 14 specifically, of the entire story in general).

This is probably the first super-fluffy drabble I've ever written. I mean, in the totally-eclipsed-anything-else sort of way. It's...very fluffy.

I was SO proud of myself. By the way, I've only usually had Lindt and Godiva truffles, which are both delicious. Also, the time frame is probably sometime in or around Kapitel.

* * *

Truffles

The first time Aya had a truffle was when he was very young. His father had received a box as a present, and Aya was allowed to try one. He found it terribly sweet.

The second time Aya had a truffle, Manx had given them a box when she came to brief them on a mission. Aya thought it was rather bitter.

_"I don't like chocolate," Aya growled, which only made Yohji smile more widely. _

_"No one doesn't like chocolate," the blonde replied. _

The third time Aya had a truffle, all he could think was that it tasted like Yohji.


	16. Apples and Oranges

**Notes:** Thanks to kichi, layla-xd, and xChristabelx for reviewing. I'm very glad you guys like my writing.

This one is still fluff, and...I don't feel like it's one of my best, but, oh well, it's not bad. Next week we'll go back to the dark depressing ones. It probably occurs somewhere in the time where they're trying to sort of start a relationship.

* * *

Apples and Oranges

After convincing himself ten ways from Saturday that he and Yohji were nothing alike and would be horrible for each other and should never engage in anything beyond a friendly professional relationship, Aya found his best argument was just that they were incompatible, like oranges and apples.

Aya was an orange, fine to look at but sour to taste. Yohji was an apple, sweet and rippling with colors, drawing people to him.

Yohji laughed when Aya gave "apples and oranges" as his argument against the two of them together.

"Haven't you ever heard of fruit punch, Aya?" Yohji demanded, winking.


	17. Rain Falling onto His Hands

**Notes:** Thanks to kichi--you're a sweetheart, and thanks for the support all the way! Thanks also to all my readers, wherever and whoever you are.

Before we begin, make sure you know what's going on. This is a post-Gluhen drabble, and at the end of the Gluhen arc, Yohji loses his memory and marries his nurse. Amnesiac Yohji calls himself "Itou Ryou". Itou is the surname of the nurse he married.

And...we are back in gear with the depressing drabbles. I really like how this turned out though.

* * *

Rain Falling onto His Hands

Itou Ryou feels like it's always raining in his dreams.

It's raining as he runs through dark rooms somewhere, searching for…what?

It's raining as he sits in a dim basement with three almost-visible faces, watching videos of people…dying?

It's raining as they speak to him, in voices he almost remembers, saying things he can't quite understand.

It's raining as blood flows off his long coat, and a strong hand pulls him up.

It's raining as he holds…someone…_Aya_…whose face he doesn't remember, and his heart aches.

One day he realizes it was never rain, just his own teardrops, falling onto his hands.


	18. Fill In The Blank

**Notes:** Thanks to kichi, layla-xd, and Gossamerisred for their beautiful reviews--they definitely make my day when I get them.

Now I'm going to take a second to pimp out my newest angstful composition--"Wake". It's a Yohji-centric Aya/Yohji fic, and I'm actually fairly pleased with how it turned out, so I'll give a minor (but still shameless) plug for it.

Finally, some notes on this drabble. It was...kind of painful to write, in two ways. First, the angst, obviously. But the other difficulty was with the horrible way it refused to flow for me, so it underwent lots and lots of editing. Anyway. I hope you all like it, thanks for reading!

* * *

Fill In the Blank

They cared for (_and loved_) each other.

They didn't like to admit things (_even when they both understood_), and some days they couldn't look at each other anymore (_because it ached_).

But somehow they found they needed (_and loved_) each other.

Sometimes it was hard to tell, especially when they fought with (_and hurt_) each other, letting their anger cloak everything else (_because they were afraid_). Ken and Omi were always wanting to kill them (_or lock them in a closet_).

Even so, they meant something to (_and loved_) each other.

And they were the only ones who (_never_) knew.


	19. Fairy Tales I: Once Upon A Time

**Notes:** Thank you so much to patsch, layla-xd, xChristabelx, Gossamerisred, and kichi for reviewing the last chapter. As I have already mentioned, it was one I struggled with, and you don't know how much your kind words about it boosted my confidence.

Ok, this drabble is part of a set of two, which I have named "Fairy Tales". The second one will be posted in 5 days, on Saturday. This first one is kind of cute and fun, for those of you who told me you'd like to see more fluff. (The companion drabble is angst though...)

* * *

_Fairy Tales I - _Once Upon A Time

"And then?" Aya demanded.

"I thought you didn't like fairy tales, Aya?" Yohji raised an eyebrow. "Too unrealistic, I thought you said."

"Well, you can't just stop before it ends!"

"Can't I?"

"You wouldn't." Aya pouted minutely, but it was more than enough for Yohji to see. The blonde laughed.

"And then…they got to be together."

"Did they live happily ever after?"

"They didn't believe in happily ever after, but they were pretty happy for as long as they had, yeah."

Aya sighed. "I…kind of like that."

"And _then_," Yohji continued, "They had lots and lots of—"

"Yohji!"

"…children?"


	20. Fairy Tales II: Ever After

**Notes:** Gah!!! I'm so sorry!!! I completely, TOTALLY forgot I promised to update yesterday, so here it is. However, I will at least continue my updates as if I had not posted late, so the next drabble will be posted Wednesday.

Thanks to xChristabelx, layla-xd, Kuroi Tamashi, Gossamerisred, and kichi for your awesome awesome support! I really hope this doesn't fail too badly...

In random weird news about me, I've recently been reading (for no reason at all) Cloud/Sephiroth fics, even while KNOWING the pairing makes little to no sense. I'm really REALLY not sure why. Although I think I have yet to find a satisfying fic for that pairing, since almost everything I've seen either makes Sephiroth too nice, Cloud too weak, or just is bad. Hm. Anyway. Back to your regularly scheduled update.

* * *

_Fairy Tales II - _Ever After

"Once upon a time there was a man who hated living, because everyone always died. One day, he met a prince who was so handsome that everyone loved him. The prince wanted to be friends, but the man desperately tried not to care, because if he cared, the prince would die."

Yohji winces at the hidden meaning. "What happened to them?" he asks.

"The prince married a princess and lived happily ever after."

"That's wrong."

"It's _my_ story, Yohji."

"The prince stayed with the man until they were both old." Yohji continues. "And there's no such thing as ever after."


	21. Cell I: Phone

**Notes:** Thank you to Kuroi Tamashi for he wonderful review--I really appreciate it when my readers take the time and effort to give a thoughtful comment.

This drabble takes place after Gluhen ends. Aya has already been living in America for a bit, and Yohji, who has amnesia, is married to his nurse Itou Asuka and calls himself Itou Ryou.

This is another two-piece set. I promise, after this, there is a long space until we get to another set, but for some reason I wrote two sets in a row here. Hm. Anyway, in the case of this set, I reversed my plan and the first one is angst, while the second one is humor. They're not really connected, but I kind of thought them up as related, like a light and dark side kind of thing. The second one actually takes place before this one...

Oh, finally, I wanted to add that this drabble is dedicated to patsch, for her birthday present, because it's angsty and she likes angst. I know it's not as good as me actually writing something, but you can also have the set I wrote last week, which is finished but probably won't be posted for months. So, um, yeah. Right now you get this one as a substitute, until whenever it is I post to drabbles 47 and 48.

* * *

_Cell I - _Phone

A tinkling tune begins to play. Ryou takes out his cell phone and frowns at the unfamiliar number.

"Moshi moshi!" Ryou declares brightly as he answers.

There is silence on the other end.

"Moshi moshi!" Ryou tries again.

A click. The dial tone sounds.

On the other side of the line, Aya slips his phone into his pocket again. He'd just hacked into a Japanese database to obtain the number, and then called someone he wasn't supposed to know.

Why did he do it?

To be completely honest with himself, he just wanted to hear that voice one more time.


	22. Cell II: Call

**Notes:** Thank-yous go to VitroBlue, kichi, patsch, teywing, layla-xd, and Maegvasaiel for their reviews! For everyone who's been saying they haven't been reading lately due to personal issues, it's fine, I understand how it goes, and you don't need to apologize for anything.

Here is the second of the cell phone series. It's...an attempt at humor? Yes, I just said humor. I don't know if it turned out well or not, but here it is. Takes place sometime before or during Kapitel, after they've established a relationship but before Weiss breaks up the first time.

Oh, also. I'm aware that Kapitel is SUPPOSED to take place in the 90s, when cell phones aren't quite as common as they are now, but oh well. I use cell phones in later drabbles too, so if you are a purist, I apologize for the sort-of anachronism.

* * *

_Cell II - _Call

Aya's scowl deepened considerably when the girly pop song that Yohji had apparently put on his phone began playing.

"Yohji," Aya growled.

"Oi, you could at least _try_ to sound a bit happy."

"I usually do when you're not calling."

"That's harsh, Aya. Hurts right here." The sound of Yohji pounding his chest.

"Just tell me what the hell you want."

"You." Aya cursed at his rising blush.

"Yoh—"

"And Omi wants some vinegar."

"_Got _it."

In the next grocery aisle, Nanako-chan whispered loudly to Mayumi-chan, "Looks like Aya-kun has a _girl_friend…"

Aya's scowl deepened just a little further.


	23. A Letter From Yesterday

**Notes:** Thank-yous go to Megvasaiel, kichi, and the anonymous reviewer for leaving me comments. Also, since I haven't said it in a while, thanks to everyone who is still reading this fic.

Sorry for the late update. I had midterms last week, and didn't get enough sleep, so I completely forgot about updating this fic.

The next one is a fairly simple angst fic. Takes place during Side B, after Yohji has lost his memory and all. Poor Aya.

* * *

A Letter from Yesterday

On a sunny, unsuspecting afternoon, as he emptied his pockets in preparation for laundry, Aya found a bit of paper inside an old coat. Upon unfolding it, Aya had to sit down on his bed.

He stared at it for a long time.

_Don't forget to pick up the package at the post office! ~Yotan._

How long ago it was that Yohji had torn off the corner of a notepad and scrawled such an everyday reminder for him.

Suddenly, Aya couldn't stop rereading the sentence, in that painfully familiar handwriting, over and over.

Suddenly, he couldn't put the note away.


	24. 10 x 15

**Notes:** Thank you to Maeg-san, kichi, and darkdranzer. Your comments give me motivation!

This drabble is set close to the last one, after Yohji has gone amnesiac and Aya has moved to America.

* * *

10 x 15

Some days, he ran to his bedroom, frantically rifled through his possessions, found a small rectangle, and spent the rest of the night desperately clutching it in his hand. It was his last link to Weiss, but he hadn't yet had the heart to throw it out.

He remembered not wanting it in the first place, but Omi insisting they all have one.

He wondered if any of the others still kept theirs.

Somehow, in the blurry photograph, his own face was almost content, and Omi and Ken looked honestly happy for once.

Yohji's smile, as always, was agonizingly beautiful.

* * *

P.S. For those of you who are still confused, 10x15 is a standard photo size in cm, approximately equivalent to a 4x6 photo in inches. I don't know how Japan measures their photos (they're Japanese, so it's possible they use some completely novel and different system), but I picked cm, since everyone besides the US uses metric.


	25. Essence

**Notes:** Thank you to Maeg-san, kichi, and layla-xd. I'm very glad to hear from you, and hopefully I can continue doing a good job for you guys~

Yay for fluff! I really liked the way this turned out...it made me feel a bit happy amidst all the angst I was writing.

By the way, I wrote this drabble in large part because I was getting annoyed at seeing every single Aya/Yohji fic EVER describe the way Aya inhales Yohji's manly scent of musk and cigarettes and alcohol, or Yohji burying his nose in Aya's hair and smelling the cinnamon and vanilla and shampoo and Aya-essence. I swear I don't hate smell descriptions, I just thought it was high time someone wrote something more like this. Somehow I just can't write them mushy, I guess, and I really don't imagine Aya smells like any sort of baking ingredient.

* * *

Essence

"Why do you wear that stuff, Yohji?" Aya spoke up quietly, his nose buried in Yohji's hair.

"Clothes? Be…cause…I don't think they'd let me in to public facilities naked?" Yohji quipped, grinning. Aya snorted.

"No, I meant, why do you wear the aftershave, or cologne, or whatever it is?"

"Well, I guess…it's supposed to make me smell good."

"To who?"

"Well…other people…_you_…"

There was a short silence before Aya suddenly blurted, "Don't wear it anymore."

"You don't like it?"

"It's fine."

"Then…what's wrong with it?"

Aya's reply was slow and tentative. "It's just…I think you smell better than it does."


	26. Realities

**Notes:** Thank you to layla-xd, Kuroi Tamashi, teywings, Maegsavaiel, Gaelle, darkdranzer, and kichi. You guys are awesome, as always.

Some replies to unsigned reviews.

-teywings: Always glad to meet another fangirl. ;)

-Gaelle: Aw, you flatter me. Glad you like.

--

Anyway, story notes:

I like this one. It's kind of Aya POV, as he's thinking back, probably around the Side B arc.

* * *

Realities

What is reality?

Reality is focusing yourself entirely on some everyday task so you can't remember how much you wish you weren't awake.

Reality is emptiness, each day no different from the last.

Reality is forcing yourself so far that you forget you're still human, because you don't feel human anymore.

Reality is forgetting to say things and regretting it later.

Reality is making wishes that can no longer come true.

Reality is waiting for something that's not yours anymore, because you didn't hold on tightly enough when it was.

Reality is a faded "I love you" keeping you alive.


	27. Twenty Questions

**Notes:** Thank you to layla-xd, patsch, KyokoTsukiyono, Maegsavaiel, and kichi. So sorry for how appallingly long it took me to update.

This one is fluffyish, but after I reread it enough, I suddenly realized it was also a bit sad.

One more thing: I have a manga rec for anyone looking for something to read. "Vassalord", a manga about an uptight cyborg vampire and his playboy (flamboyantly unheterosexual) vampire master, and their really odd but close (and hilarious) relationship. A scanlation can be found on mangafox.

* * *

Twenty Questions

It was a phrase, Yohji had told him, insisting Aya should loosen up for a bit and play what Aya thought of as a completely pointless game.

"Is it…something _you_ would say?"

"Hmmm…yes."

"To me?"

A devious grin appeared on Yohji's face. "Yes."

"Is it serious?"

"…Sometimes."

"Is it said _to_ someone or _about_ someone?"

"To someone."

"Yohji—"

"Just keep asking, Aya."

"Do you always mean it?"

"_Yes_." And from the seductive way Yohji smiled, Aya knew the answer.

"I want you."

"Oh, baby, I want you too," Yohji laughed. "But…I was _actually_ going for 'I love you.'"


	28. Time Machine

**Notes:** Thank you to layla-xd, darkdranzer, Gossamerisred, and kichi. Always nice to see readers from the earlier chapters returning.

Back to angst...where we'll remain for about four drabbles. This one was inspired by the song "Time Machine" by Alice Nine (it's on youtube, I would rec the Wonderland tour live version though the CD recording is good too), which talks about similar things. Lyrics can be found at the Akatsuki translation site.

Yohji POV, for once. It's set during Gluhen.

(P.S. One more rec: Ludwig II by You Higuri. Great manga. Be warned about the somewhat explicit shounen-ai.)

Oh, and. This update is for patsch, who declared she really wanted an update to distract her (for the whole minute it'll take you to read) from work.

* * *

Time Machine

You look at me, and your eyes seem to be maybe a little sad, but I can't tell anymore. I haven't been able to tell for a long time.

We ended this a long time ago. No more flirts, no more kisses, no more caring. It's better this way. But somehow I'd give up everything we've done just to go back to that for a moment.

The world began again, and we walked farther apart, and it's much too late to find the past anymore.

If we could turn back time, would you go back to that era with me?


	29. The Last Dance

**Notes:** Thank you to darkdranzer, Gossamerisred, Maegvasaiel, and kichi for their comments. Special extreme thanks to patsch, not only for her comment, but for loving it enough to quote it.

A little pimping. This is an original song I wrote, which I posted up on youtube. Add this to the end of youtube-dot-com: /watch?v=oAxAirgHYJI . It reminds me a bit of Aya/Yohji, so, hey, it VAGUELY is related. (C'mon, give me a break. I'm allowed to shamelessly plug my own work on here, right?) Although I have to warn that it's in a cappella, because I can't do background music. ^^;

--

Anyway. Fic. The drabble was inspired by a Chinese song that translates to "The Last Dance" and is sung by Tony Leung. To listen to it, go to: tudou (dot) com (slash) programs (slash) view (slash) 1nWj9vaMXcA

The song is actually based on a movie called "Happy Together" starring Tony Leung (the singer) and Leslie Cheung, about a gay couple whose relationship falls apart. Here is a translation of the lyrics, just cause I love this song so much.

_"The Last Dance"  
Original Artist: Tony Leung  
_

_The light is faint, like a spring dream from which I haven't awoken  
The wind is lazy, desires once again stir lightly  
The heart is wild, unable to walk away so I'll let him have his way  
Pain and then happiness, tumble love and hate together  
In the loud, noisy world, I hear his loneliness  
After we embrace, what is still left?_

_I woke from the dream, we dance the last dance  
His hand is slowly caressing  
Tightly keeping close to my every step  
I woke from the dream, the last dance has been danced  
I can still hear his heartbeat  
The dreams and dust we had  
Are aroused then slide back down_

_Mm ba ba la ba…_

_To start again from the beginning  
Is it right or is it wrong?_

--

This isn't really anyone's POV, but it IS angst, for the two little angst-muffins. (Hey, they got enough action in SkyRat's "This Is Not My Life" update yesterday. Yes, she updated. Go read it.) It's set probably around the time Aya leaves Weiss for the last time before Gluhen.

I do like how this turned out. And the next one--that's one of my personal favorites. Please wait for it~

* * *

The Last Dance

The room was empty of everything save them, and dust, and the lingering feel of grief. Yohji held on, even though Aya wasn't his anymore, even though they should have parted ways already.

They danced.

There was no music, not now, except what they heard in their heads. They wondered if they were crazy, and they held on.

They danced.

And suddenly, they were both crying silently, staring over each other's shoulders, forcing themselves to ignore the overwhelming pain, forcing themselves to keep moving.

They danced, and danced, knowing it was the last dance.

In the morning, Aya was gone.


	30. I Didn't Love You

**Notes:** Thank you to Gossamerisred and kichi for reviewing.

So, I've been reading Cantarella, which, even if unfinished, is an amazing manga. It's a Renaissance story about a serial killer whose soul belongs to the devil and the assassin who keeps him human. It's supposedly shounen-ai, but what little there is is quite one-sided. It made me cry, though, mostly for poor Cesare, who is losing to his demons as Chiaro runs off to fall in love with a girl.

Anyway. This drabble is one of my absolute favorite drabbles of all the ones I've written, even if it's still Aya POV.

Sorry for the long wait, but I was quite busy with labwork and feeling rather demotivated about life.

* * *

I Didn't Love You

For years and years, I didn't love you.

You meant the world to me, your hands kept me whole, you made me continue breathing.

But I didn't love you.

I defended you, I shattered in your arms, I _needed_ you.

But I didn't love you.

We spent our days together, we spent our nights together, and sometimes we spent our dreams together.

But I still didn't love you.

And after you were long gone, after I didn't have a choice anymore, I realized. All the things I did and felt—they were exactly what I refused to believe they were.


	31. Leaving on a Jet Plane

**Notes:** Thank you to teywings, fire mystic, kichi, and Maeg for reviewing.

The following drabble takes place after Aya leaves Weiss for the last time before Gluhen. The song lyrics and title are from "Leaving on a Jet Plane" by John Denver.

By the way, recently I've been watching the BBC TV series Merlin, which is actually very entertaining. Check it out if you're interested in fantasy and don't mind all the Arthurian legend characters being teenagers.

Oh, and, I forgot to mention the time frame for Chapter 30. It was probably way into Side B era.

* * *

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Yohji shut the door, picked up the suitcase and walked down the stairs alone. He got in the taxi waiting on the street. There was no one to say goodbye to anymore.

The driver started off, turning up the volume on a sad old American ballad.

_Kiss me and smile for me_

_Tell me that you'll wait for me_

_Hold me like you'll never let me go…_

Aya didn't mean anything now, Yohji told himself. Aya was gone for good. Aya hadn't wanted Yohji to hold him and never let him go.

Yohji wasn't sure why he was suddenly crying.


	32. Some Things Are the Way They Are

**Notes:** Thanks so much to Gossamerisred, fire mystic, kichi, layla-xd and Maeg for reviewing.

This drabble uses lyrics from the song "Never Saw Blue" by Hayley Westenra. It's a really pretty and sweet song, and does a much better job of describing this than I do in my drabble. The original song was by Shawn Colvin, but I particularly like the Hayley Westenra cover.

It's...a fluff drabble, for once. Takes place probably some time before the OVAs, when they're vaguely in a relationship. I dunno, I don't think it's that well-written, compared to other things I've posted, but it's fluffy? And I felt it was necessary after the last 4 super-depressing drabbles?

* * *

Some Things Are the Way They Are

"Yohji?" Aya asked one sunny afternoon.

"Yes, Aya?"

"I…" Yohji waited patiently as Aya struggled to express himself. "We…"

"It's all right, Aya."

"It's just…it's…hard to find the right sentences."

Yohji smiled. "Don't worry, Aya. Not everything has to be said." He reached for Aya's hand. "Sometimes it just makes sense."

"Then…is it…?"

"All right? Of course it is. I understand." Yohji tugged a little on Aya. "Come on. It's too nice a day to spend thinking about such serious things."

_Some things are the way they are, and words just can't explain…_

Encouraged, Aya smiled, squeezed Yohji's hand, and followed.


	33. Breaking Point

**Notes:** Thanks and cookies to kichi and Maeg for reviewing.

Ok, credit where credit is due. This drabble is pretty much a fanfiction of a fanfiction. I wrote it quite a while ago, while reading fire_mystic's "Distraction", back when Aya and Yohji were deepest in their unhealthy relationship. The drabble can stand alone, but I feel like it's necessary for me to at least say what inspired it.

The way I wrote it, it can be taken outside of the context of "Distraction" as well. In that case, it's probably occurring somewhere around Kapitel, assuming the two of them are somewhat involved at that time. Although, I still recommend you go read "Distraction" at some point or another. It's a great fic in its own right, as long as you don't mind the M rating and the really dark first half.

P.S. I'd like to self-pimp for a sec and tell everyone I wrote another depressing Yohji-based fic called "A Moment Longer", and to encourage you all to read it if you're looking for nice Yohji-angst.

* * *

Breaking Point

I will always remember the day you fell apart.

For days and days and weeks and months, you pretended, and I saw through you, but sometimes I wasn't sure. You were cold, because you were afraid.

I knew this. I just could never be completely positive.

But you forgot one thing. I wasn't happy with a pretense. If you wouldn't come out of that hard, frigid box for me, I wouldn't continue this way. It took me too long, but I eventually stood up from my black hole.

And I ended something.

And you broke.

And we began something better.


	34. Magi

**Notes:** Thanks and cookies to firemystic and kichi for reviewing.

This one is completely at the wrong time of the year for now, and it's more fluff, but I remember thinking about the O'Henry's short story "The Gift of the Magi" and wanting to do a similarly themed story for Aya and Yohji, but not quite so depressing. (The angst will be back next update, I promise.)

So, probably around the time of Kapitel, may I present...

* * *

Magi

Every year on the lunar New Year, Omi insisted that they all exchange presents. Generally, Aya and Yohji just bought something or other for their teammates.

But…this year was different. This year Aya wanted to do something a little more special, because…well, because. Yohji probably would.

So after Ken and Omi had already received their gifts, Aya turned to Yohji, and the two said in unison, "Your present's in the garage."

When they opened the door, they were silent momentarily, before both suddenly smiled.

Aya's gift had been to clean Yohji's beloved car.

Yohji's gift had been to clean Aya's.


	35. Communication I: Unanswered Message

**Notes:** Thank you to kichi, Gossamerisred, and Maegvasaiel for reviewing.

The angst has returned!!

This takes place after the team breaks up for the last time before Gluhen. This drabble is the first in the "Communication" two-drabble series.

Again, as I've said before, I realize their text message capabilities are a bit...advanced for the era. I realize text probably wasn't as common in the nineties. But, hey, they're assassins. Kritiker probably gave them super advanced cells or something.

* * *

Unanswered Message

It had been weeks since Aya had left the team. Weeks since Yohji had seen him. Weeks since Yohji had stopped pretending he had ever meant anything to Aya.

He told himself Aya wanted to forget Weiss, promised himself he wouldn't be the one who broke down and tried to contact Aya.

It had been weeks, but when he woke up screaming from a nightmare, Yohji lost all inhibition and reached for his cell. '_Where are you?_' he typed with hands shaking, and sent the text before he could regret it.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

No reply came.


	36. Communication II: Because

**Notes:** Thank you to kichi, fire_mystic, and Maegvasaiel for their sweet reviews, and thanks to patsch for her support~

This is a continuation of the last drabble, though both technically stand alone. That generally ends up how I write my set drabbles. Anyway, please enjoy. Let me know what you think.

* * *

Because

He woke to his phone blaring into his ear. Blearily, Aya stared at the screen, which displayed the only name he never wanted to see there again.

He opened the text message. _Where are you?_ Before he could think further, Aya made himself delete it.

Not because he didn't care that Yohji probably had a good reason for calling at two in the morning.

Aya desperately wanted to answer: _please forget about me_.

But he knew if he did that, it would mean he cared.

He didn't answer because he couldn't let Yohji hurt himself anymore from believing in him.


	37. Preferences

**Notes:** Thank you to kichi, Serafina123, Gossamerisred, and Maegvasaiel for their sweet reviews.

I really really really like how this one turned out. The next one too. This one's definitely balanced between angst and fluff, though I can't give a really good time frame. Sounds like something that might happen to Aya pre-Gluhen, assuming they're in some sort of bizarre relationship.

* * *

Preferences

There are certain things he hates about Yohji.

He hates the loudness, the shameless flirting, and the revealing clothes. He hates the constant party that makes up Yohji's person, hates how Yohji always gets his way.

He hates the feeling that Yohji will be someone else's one day.

But…he likes the safe feeling of Yohji's arms and the way he smiles, likes that Yohji never asks him to be anything else. He likes that Yohji lets him have his space and always forgives him at the end of the day.

He remembers this, and forgets what he hates about Yohji.


	38. The Lost Boy

**Notes:** Thank you to kichi, Maegvasaiel, and fire mystic for leaving me such nice comments.

This is another of my personal favorites of my angst drabbles. It takes place in Side B-era (or some equivalent), but you don't really need to know that much about Side B for it to make sense. Pretty much, it's after Yohji has lost his memory, and Aya has gone far away and joined another team.

Also, this drabble is dedicated to fire mystic. A very happy (early) birthday to you, for being one of the most awesome people pretty much ever. Thank you for being so encouraging on my Weiss fics, and for bringing us such amazing, angsty, fluffy, painful, beautiful and/or harsh fics. I know your birthday's tomorrow, but I'm not sure if I'll be online tomorrow, so, even though it's early, here's to you~

* * *

The Lost Boy

His teammates stare when he gets like this, and he knows but fails to care.

They whisper among themselves about what exactly is wrong.

He knows. His performance has lagged just a bit, and he stares into the distance and withdraws back into himself.

He can't help it, though. Every so often it tugs at him, faint and frail, but inescapably there and still painful.

He never tells them about his Neverland that he left behind, because they don't need to know, nor would they understand.

They wonder why he's lost.

The better question, he thinks, is _who_ he's lost.


	39. Stages I: Refusal

**Notes:** Thank you to kichi, teywings, Maegvasaiel, and fire mystic for their encouraging reviews.

This one...is abrupt. It's because it's part of a 2-drabble series, and it was necessary for the next part to make sense. I guess it can sort of stand alone? I dunno, it wouldn't be something I was really fond of if it was by itself, but it really helps the next section make more sense.

Gluhen-era.

Also, f-word warning. Like I've said before, the fic is rated T, so you should be able to handle it anyway.

* * *

Refusal

It was hard to see Yohji everyday, as if they'd never separated, but so painfully aware of what the separation had done.

Aya felt himself desperately wanting to apologize. But when "I'm sorry" actually came out one day, Yohji snapped.

"Fuck you, Aya. You were important to me once, and you knew it. But you didn't care what happened to me when you went on with your life. You don't know what it did to me. Do you expect 'I'm sorry' to make everything better? I don't love you anymore, Aya. Why _should_ I forgive you?"

And he walked away.


	40. Stages II: Acceptance

**Notes:** Thanks to fire mystic, patsch, and kichi for reviewing.

And...the second half. I forgot to say last time that the series is called "Stages", I think because I felt like they were a bit similar to the psychological stages of grieving.

* * *

Acceptance

Yohji didn't want it, but it ran through Aya's mind incessantly. He was so terribly awfully sorry for _ever_ leaving, for _ever_ pushing Yohji away. He was sorry it was too late to say he was sorry. He'd thought at the time that Yohji could—and would—do better than him. He'd thought…well, he'd thought a lot of things.

All he wanted now was a forgiveness he did not deserve.

And yet, Yohji looked up at him from the collapsing chamber, "I love you" in his eyes.

It had been a long time since Aya had cried quite so hard.


	41. Wastepaper

**Notes:** Thanks to Maegvasaiel, layla-xd, fire mystic, kichi, and chinchan for reviewing.

chinchan: I'm glad you liked my fics, and I'm sorry I don't have anything very long. It's not that I have anything against long stories, I just haven't been able to come up with anything for this pairing. ^^;

Oh, god. This drabble is SO. EMO. But...I also kind of like it?

Time period is end of Gluhen, after Yohji loses his memory. Aya goes to Yohji's old place to clean up after him, in case anyone finds out about Weiss from looking through Yohji's things.

**Important: **The three underlined sentences were originally crossed out, but FFN is being stupid and won't let me format them with strikethroughs. Anyway, you guys get the point.

* * *

Wastepaper

Aya tried to ignore the dull ache in his chest as he searched Yohji's now-empty apartment for incriminating leads to Weiss.

A crumpled note sat on the top of the wastepaper basket, and Aya could see his own name scrawled over the top. He picked it up in morbid curiosity.

_Aya, _it said, and then there were several scratched-out sentences.

_I guess_, it continued, then several more illegible scratched-out lines, before finally, _I love you. I love you. I love you. Please come back. I love you. I love you. _

Aya closed his eyes.

He took the letter with him.


	42. Dreams, Opposites, Peace

**Notes:** Thanks to Maegvasaiel, kichikoneko, and Ohridecon for their wonderful reviews.

Ohridecon: Wow, I feel very honored. ^^ I'm glad my writing works so well for you.

Something that's fluffy this week. It's a bit sad, too, if you think about it hard enough, but I can't really see their relationship ever becoming something nauseously happy. Anyway. It's mostly fluffy. Probably takes place around Kapitel, too.

* * *

Dreams · Opposites · Peace

Sometimes he dreamed of peace.

He knew exactly what it would be like.

It would be days—and it didn't matter if they were sunny—filled with Aya.

They wouldn't do much, really.

They would simply live.

He would smile every morning, because he couldn't help doing so when he woke up with Aya still there.

He would make coffee for himself and tea for Aya, and the two mugs would sit together, comically opposite, just like their owners.

And there would be lazy afternoons, with Aya in his arms, that felt like forever.

Some days, Yohji had his peace.


	43. Jewels

**Notes:** Thanks to layla-xd, Maegvasaiel, kichikoneko, and fire mystic for reviewing.

This one is very depressing. Set in Gluhen-era.

The ficlet was inspired by the song "Jewels" by Alice Nine (which I would rec to anyone who doesn't mind Jrock), which in short has a message of "Our relationship isn't what it used to be, but I will always treasure the memories" kind of a thing. A full translation can be found at the Akatsuki Alice Nine lyrics site. The stuff in italics are NOT the lyrics of the song, they're just things I wrote while thinking about the song.

* * *

Jewels

Tsujii was so thrilled with the diamonds Yohji gave her that she missed him staring blankly, thinking of Aya.

_Things have changed between us_

Yohji didn't love Tsujii, but she was beautiful because she could give him what the people he loved had taken away.

_But the memories you gave me will always shine_

And yet, Tsujii wasn't as beautiful as Asuka, because no one could be. Except for Aya. And Tsujii wasn't as beautiful as Aya either, because Yohji loved Aya and he didn't love Tsujii.

_Even if you're gone, I'll remember them_

Some things were better than diamonds.


	44. What Hurts the Most

**Notes:** Thanks to Ohridecon, Maegvasaiel, chanchan, and fire mystic for reviewing.

to chanchan: I'm really sorry, and I think I've addressed this before, but I don't really write many long stories. I have a hard time finding inspiration for them, and have not really had a desire to write them for either this pairing or this fandom. I'm really flattered you like my stuff enough to want me to write longer stories, but I highly doubt it'll happen. If you'd like longer stories, I'd rec "This is not my life" by Skyrat, or "Distraction" by fire mystic.

to Ohridecon: your reviews are so sweet! I'm glad to hear you like them, even though I put them through so much angst. ^^

This next drabble takes place maybe one or two months after Aya leaves Weiss for the last time before Gluhen, on a particularly pensive day for Yohji. It's actually vaguely Yohji POV (even if it's not in first person). Also, the title was borrowed from the song "What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts. I'd highly rec the song; even though it doesn't really fit with the drabble, it fits rather nicely with this relationship.

* * *

What Hurts the Most

He'd known it would end.

Yet somehow afterwards Yohji can never put words to what stings the hardest.

It's not the lack of touching, even though that had been good. But it was about more than just the physical.

It's not the breaking of the illusion that he's no longer alone. It was about more than the company as well.

It's not even the feeling that Aya doesn't belong to him anymore, even if Yohji wishes otherwise.

In the end, he realizes, what hurts the most is the feeling that Aya never quite belonged to him in the first place.


	45. Never Once

**Notes:** Thanks to kichi, Maegvasaiel, and fire mystic for reviewing the last chapter.

Takes place during Kapitel.

* * *

Never Once

The only indication of Yohji's anxiety that night was the stream of cigarette smoke pouring from his mouth. "Stop smoking," Omi pleaded, "It isn't helping."

"I will when they come out."

**

Ken knew Aya was worried from all the cursing. "Calm _down_, Aya," Ken finally snapped, "Foul language isn't going to get us out sooner."

"I'll calm down when we're out then, fuck it."

**

Never once had Aya admitted he cared about Yohji.

But in the moment after Aya emerged from the collapsed building, the look in his eyes was enough, and Yohji could care less about never.


	46. Graveyard

**Notes:** Wow, I'm super sorry for being a horrible author and not updating this since forever ago. Thank you to everyone who's reviewed for this story so far (I'm feeling too lazy to look up the names...) and I hope you'll continue reading.

This is post-Gluhen, right before Aya leaves Japan. I think somewhere it's said that some of them have fake graves (I believe Aya has one), so I figured Yohji might have one too. And this image jumped into my head and wouldn't go away.

Also, this is for patsch, and rediscovering old friends.

* * *

Graveyard

He'd known this would happen someday.

He'd dreamed of standing here, in front of the cold stone marker, still unable to let go of his hard-won self-control.

In his dreams he'd seen Yohji smile as he let go. He'd seen Yohji leave him for the warmer, sweeter arms of Death, and he'd dreaded and predicted it, both at the same time.

But Yohji _wasn't_ dead, _wasn't_ lying under the gravestone that bore his name.

Aya knew he should be happy, but all he could think was that Yohji was as far away now as if he had really died.


	47. Confrontation I: Final Battle

**Notes:** Thank you to ayla-xd, Isi, kichikoneko, and firemystic for their reviews on the last chapter. Special thanks to layla for kickstarting me again on posting this.

Sorry for the wait, everyone~ This is another two-drabble set, called Confrontation. Takes place during Gluhen.

* * *

Final Battle

Aya's eyes followed the silvery nigh-invisible thread dispassionately to where it twined around his neck. "What are you doing?" he demanded, voice flat, manner cool.

Aya was always that cool, wasn't he? He'd been just that cool both when he killed dark beasts, and when he'd walked out because he hadn't needed Weiss, or Yohji, anymore.

So Yohji laughed. Laughed at the fool that was Kudou Yohji, laughed at having such hopes and wishes in the past when he knew he couldn't afford them, laughed, most of all, at having Aya at his mercy now.

Somehow, his laugh tasted bitter.


	48. Confrontation II: Game Over

**Notes:** I know I haven't posted anything for ages and ages, but I finally went back and finished up the last two pieces for this (there are 60 total, so 12 more after this one), and am going to try to post it all like I promised. 

Thank you to everybody who's stayed with me so far, and to everyone who's still/just started reading.

* * *

Game Over

Usually, the game was over when the boss fight ended, and the heroes headed off to their happy future lives.

But Weiss didn't live by _usually_.

The climax hadn't come—Koua still stood and Essett remained undefeated. And yet, as he waited with the wire around his neck, staring into the crazy, desperate look in Yohji's eyes, Aya knew how the game would end.

He'd lose.

Usually, in the last battle, the hero defeats the villain. But the ending when the hero has to face someone he once cared for beyond all logic, Aya knew, could only be

Game Over.


	49. Fools

**Notes:** Thanks again to everyone who has followed so far and especially those of you who have come back when I finally decided to finish posting.

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Fools

Stupid Yohji.

Stupid Yohji just _had_ to have the mind-erasing drink so he could forget the way he had watched helplessly as his first true love was killed.

Stupid, stupid Yohji, who had never, ever learned, even though that's why he got the tattoo.

Stupid, stupid, _stupid_ Yohji, who had ignored Aya's protests and held him until he was warm again, and forced him to fall in love.

Stupid Yohji, who had hurt so badly and just wanted rest, but who had made Aya unable to let go.

Stupid Yohji, making him cry like an idiot.

They were both fools.


	50. Observations

**Notes:** Thanks again to everyone who's been replying and still following. This one is Omi POV.

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Observations

I always wondered at those two as I watched them. They were so oblivious, so…so…stupid.

Of course, we were all stupid, weren't we?

But they were a special brand of stupid. They spent all their time clinging tightly to each other, while claiming they didn't want to be together. They repeated over and over that they didn't deserve love, yet they couldn't survive without it.

They tried so hard to protect each other from being hurt by refusing to love each other, but...

They couldn't see that, in the moment they wanted to protect each other, they _already_ loved each other.


	51. How To Save A Life

**Notes:** Thank you so much for anyone who is still reading and/or reviewing this. We are at the final 10 countdown, this one being 10th from the end. Thanks for sticking with me through my unofficial hiatus and the large number of chapters~

Also, the title of this one comes from the song by The Fray.

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How To Save A Life

"No."

"Why not?"

"_No_."

"At least try it?"

"No."

"Give me a reason?"

"…no."

"Look, Aya. I know you've had shit happen in the past, and it's made you afraid of trusting anybody. But if you trust me to save your ass from dark beasts, you can trust me to take care of you. I've been through just as much crap as you have, but I know, even if you get hurt, it's always worth trying again. Can't you just…" _Sigh_. "…try for me?"

"…"

There was a drowning look in Yohji's eyes, and Aya had to save him.

"Maybe."


	52. Magnetism

**Notes:** Thanks again to all the lovely people who are still coming back to this fic even though it's been years.

Eight more drabbles to go!

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Magnetism

They always have the same argument.

"Why won't you let me love you?" Yohji pleads.

"Why do you think love is the answer to everything?" Aya replies.

Yohji averts his eyes.

"Love isn't going to magically make everything go away, Yohji. It's not going to make us stop feeling miserable and guilty. It's not going to make the world into a kinder place. We'll still be killers, trying to find a way to justify ourselves. We don't _deserve_ love."

Yohji never argues, always just smiles.

"I love you," he says simply.

And Aya can't help but be pulled back in.


End file.
